Those things that happened to us that we said wouldn’t happen to us.

As a FINAL India post – yes, we’re finally done with India!!! I thought it appropriate to sum up some of the instances that we were both warned of and avoided, as well as those traps that we fell face first into.

I’ve always wanted to go to this “INcredible INdia” but we had also been warned that India was also “INsane” and at times INfuritating, and so I was quite “INtimidated.” But I was really proud of our assimilation. We dealt and learned to deal and eventually embrace all the dirt, traffic, people, cows and all that craziness that India entails. But our warnings weren’t off.

India is work. You work for everything. For instance walking is work. Just walking out of your hotel room you are dizzied with shouts of people trying to sell you things or beg for money. It’s not uncommon to be followed and you have to say no a thousand times to the point you are red in the face. We’ve found the best method was to ignore them. Also you could never keep your eyes off the street, one lapse in concentration and you could easily be stepping in a gooey mess of poop. Crossing the street seems like a journey. This short A to B distance of mere feet could take 10 mins through the array of transport vehicles: trucks, buses, tuktuks, bicycles, motorbikes, cars, taxis, large wheeled barrall carts and pedestrians. There is basically no option taking a nice stroll in most of India, but we kept in perspective that it was all part of the adventure.

But, so much energy was spent on the smallest tasks. It was constant negotiations with tuk tuk drivers, tour operators, and the various people trying to make a buck off of you while acting nice and friendly, trying to gain your trust so that they can “sell” you something, became annoying. I hated this as all I wanted to do was experience this beautiful country and try to make authentic connections. But often times I would have easily settled for not being the vision of a human ATM.

I was proud when we picked up on scams. For instance in the New Delhi train station we had read that there is actually a fake ticketing office. Can you believe that? How does that happen? But yes, men in official looking agent attire will come up to you and ask you if you need a ticket. The goal is to get you to this fake ticket office and sell you a ticket. Aaron spotted these guys a mile away, paid them no notice and walked us straight into the train station to buy tickets. Sorry Charlies.
Sometimes our tuk tuk driver would take us try and take us to another hotel than to the one we requested. We would show him the map in our guide book and would not take no for an answer until they brought us there.
We would also try and ask our hotel or a local how much tuk tuk drives would cost before heading out and if we got close to the range we were satisfied.

BUT…There were times that we fell straight into a genuine looking smile or what seemed to be a “nice fellow” who then took you for a ride. For instance (great transition) our tuk tuk driver in New Delhi. We stepped out on Ghandi’s birthday and really needed help confirming which attractions may be closed due to this national holiday. A seemingly nice guy came up to Aaron complimenting him on his beard. Aaron was immediately drawn in. We started to have a conversation with him and after 10 or so mins were hopping in his tuk tuk for a 100 rupee tour (about $1) around some of the sites we wanted to see. Too good to be true? Yes. Along the way he started pointed out shops we should visit for good deals, in celebration of Ghandi’s birthday. But we nodded and he kept moving on to the sites. However, on our way back to the hotel, the driver pleaded nicely to us to go into these shops, as he would get some snacks. So we obliged and then we were sent into a sales pitch of various India goods from scarves to Sarees. And you know what? I bought one. I thought why not, I wanted one…but I am certain I paid the tourist price.

Before New Delhi when we were in Khajuraho exploring the temples, I was trying to get into the mysticism and the beauty when a man came up to me and brought me to the center of the temple so to chant and bless me. I thought this was great. We sang together around some lit candles and I got to experience some worshiping. “This is what I am supposed to be experiencing,” I thought. However once it was done, the man asked me for money, for his blessing. I was crushed.

The most elaborate scam we were fell for involved many people. It was artfully done. So much so that Aaron and I argue that this is how it happened, but this is what I believe did. We were in Jaipur walking the long market streets. Jaipur is one big market where you can buy anything. Well, a man, saw us taking a picture of some of the textiles being dyed. He came up to us very nicely and told us not to buy any textiles in the market. Instead we should go to a textile place outside the city where needy widowed women are hand making these items and are able to support their families. He said we didn’t have time to go today but since we are here, we should stop at this temple. So we headed towards this temple where we are greeted by another, very nice man, who “lives” in the temple with his family. He took us to the top and carried a stick to ward off the monkeys. He seemed very protective and nice. He also told us that we should visit this textile place, just outside of town. He said it was not the big factory, but it still employed these women of need. But he warned us that we would not see the women because it was late and they were now with our family. He got us a tuk tuk and told us to tell the tuk tuk driver to leave when we got there. This is so he cannot make commission, (yeah, this guy was looking out for us) and told the tuk tuk driver we were going to pay just 400 rupees (about $4), which seemed reasonable. Before we rode off, the temple dweller told us to meet him back at the temple the following day where we could see the 7pm service and have a beer with him after. Wow! A friend, we thought excitedly. Well we got to the textile shop and we were sold the story about how they were supporting widows, who because of Indian marriage traditions cannot marry again and were now the bread-winner and needed to support their large families. We were shown demonstrations of block patterns, carpet weaving and then brought up to the show room. We were sat down on plush couches and given chai tea and all of a sudden we bought two duvets. Now I don’t regret the purchases, I really love them, but I know we were ripped off as these overpriced goods were at double if not more the price and we certainly did not support any widows. I also find it fascinating how this all came into play. How these men who were seemingly unconnected who brought us here. As we were not aware of it at the time, we went to the temple the next day to find our “friend.” Well our “friend” never showed up and we were given some story by his “brother” who lived there that he had to leave town, there was no 7pm ceremony either.

There were other instances as well. For instance the tour we took in Jaipur was super cheap. Well it was possibly subsidized by all the stops we had to make to textile and leather shops along the way. Aaron and I did not even go inside. Also, everyone had a brother, sister or cousin who would love to cook for us, sew for us, sell us things, etc. It was often hard for salesmen to understand that it wasn’t the price but that we simply did not want to buy anything. Even during a yoga session I would be asked if I wanted guitar lessons or cooking lessons, there was always an upsell. I could keep going on, as brevity is not my forte and there are many instances.

But I became desensitized to all of this, it was expected. And while it sucks to constantly go about telling people no, ignoring them and mistrusting them from the start we were still open to being proven wrong and loved it when it happened. We had some great conversations with people on trains who shared food with us and bought us tea, Aaron made a wonderful guy at the Golden Temple who toured with us and wanted nothing from us, and the many people who helped us navigate our spot off the train. Like it or not your guard does need to be up. But what goes up can easily come down.